Conversations with Those Long Forgotten Memories
by Midday Moonlight
Summary: Life has a way of kicking us to the ground and sitting on our faces. For Leah, this is an understatement. Watch as she waits for her long-anticipated happy ending. Warning this is 1st and foremost a love story about what we would do for love. Sam POV.
1. Chapter 1

**So this is a sad little story that has been floating around my head for a while. It's looking to be a three-parter. I want it to be a happy ending. It's slightly AU, and most def OOC for several characters. Ps I only breifly editing this SOB so if there is something wrong grammar wise, send me a heads up! I really like reviews!** **and I'm planning on updating this around mid to end of December, so don't hold your breath!**

**I was going for short and sweet with killer dialogue but who knows! I think I'm great at writing but I also think that eggos with peanut butter is the best thing ever! I hope you like, and no offense or anything but feel free not to comment if you dont like this!**

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><p><strong>SAM POV<strong>

The years had been kind. Everything was looking to be near perfect.

It had been years since everything with the Cullens and the bloodsuckers were over and done Cullen's had opted to move after Nessie's fifth birthday, and were now somewhere in Maine. Jacob had been obligated to follow and left trailing after them.

So, the two separate packs had become a single unit again to my greatest happiness. Without the threat of the vampires looming over our heads, we could stop phasing which meant that slowly but surely we would start aging and fading into the darkness of time. I had the wife I loved and my family. What else could a man need.

We still had monthly pack meetings and still considered ourselves protectors. These meetings weren't mandatory but very few decided not to attend. In fact, the only one who wasn't there in any regular basis was Leah. Leah, forever the outsider in the Insider's club. But she would forever be my donut hole. Despite the fact that my life was a perfectly delicious donut with my family and friends, I still felt her absence. I still felt like the days without her were slightly empty.

Almost everyone else chose to ignore her existence, which she made exceedingly easy for us. She had moved out to a small cottage on the outskirts of our land. She opened up a small business where she would bake elaborate baked confections on commission. She had even baked Emily and my wedding cake. It was absolutely beautiful like a picture out of famous wedding. And it tasted like Jesus himself had iced it.

She was just happy to live a quiet life. From what I heard, she visited her mother on a daily basis and she had finally mended her relationship with her brother. She was finally getting what she wanted. And from the looks of it, she wanted little memory of the pack. Little memory of me.

For some reason, that niggling little fact got to me, and irked me something awful.

For a couple months now I found myself standing in the dense forest near her house using the last remnants of my shifter abilities to listen to her move about. Occasionally laugh.

I needed to see her. She hadn't been to a meeting in 4 months. I missed her. And in my head, I rationalized if I missed her, she had to be miserable without me. She had to want to see me.

I found myself making my way out of the forest towards her house.

Her house was small and almost non-descript but everything about it called to my senses. The house was warm. It was Leah. Despite all the changes that had occurred in the past years, Leah was always a source of energy, of heat. She was never subtle, never quiet or cold. She was an extreme person. No matter how the years changed Leah, nothing could take away her fire. She was my little flame thrower.

I walked up to the house and could immediately smell her. She filled the rooms and the walls with her scent. There was nothing else tainting it. She smelled of warm summer evenings and a tender caress.

Her door was unlocked which spoke to her surprisingly guileless attitude towards the world.

No matter what the others said to her, no matter how she tried to present herself, I always knew that deep down she had a soft center. She used cruelty and harshness to shield herself, but I always knew that my Lee Lee would never change.

I let myself in and was greeted by her bottom swaying in the kitchen. She was crouched down on all fours attempting to reach something underneath her refrigerator.

"As soon as I get you I swear to god, that's the end of you… you are finished… you'll never work in this kitchen again…" She was mumbling underneath her breath, cursing inanimate object, an endeavor she was adorably prone to do. Irritation was obvious in her voice and she continued a tense and aggressive dialogue with the hidden object that lay just out of her reach.

"Sam." Her voice was addressing him despite the fact that I had not made a single noise as I had entered her house. "Sam, can you help me out here. My demonic spatula is hiding underneath the fridge."

I chuckled and easily tilted the fridge to the side so that she could grab the utensil.

She smiled triumphantly as she finally obtained her spatula. Her bright, chocolate eyes turned up to me, "Thanks. One more minute and I swear I would've burned the kitchen down just to spite the spatula." She turned away from him to plop the spatula into the soapy pits of her kitchen sink. She moved about the kitchen, returning to her previous task which looked to be a cleaning spree. "So, what brings you to my neck of the woods? Did Emily change her order?"

A look of confusion, no doubt, crossed my face.

"Did Emily change her cupcake order for next Saturday's pack meeting?"

"Oh, no. I was just," I was at a loss. Why exactly was I here? "I was just stopping by?"

She gave me one of her sardonic little half-smiles. "You sure about that, tiger?"

I nodded. She laughed and returned to scrubbing the dishes in her sink.

I took the opportunity to observe her. She didn't look like the rest of us. Where we had beefed up and became behemoths, it appeared that Leah had only grown in physical height. She was the same weight thinly stretched out on a bigger frame.

If you really looked, you could see the subtle outline of each of her bones. Her clothes hung limply on her frame. She was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but I could still see where the waves of time had hit her. I wonder when was the last time anyone had taken the time to observe her.

"Leah, how are you?"

She stopped what she was doing and turned to look at me, her head lightly inclining to the side. "I'm fine. And you?"

I ignored the question. Everything about her right now made me feel uneasy. It was like warning bells were vibrating underneath my skin. I needed to know what it was that made me want to comfort her, she look fine, didn't she. "What've you been doing?

"This and that." Her eyes narrowed slightly as she regarded me, "Sam , what's going on? Is everything ok with Emily?"

"Let's not talk about that."

She dropped the sponge in her hand to give me her full attention. "Then what do you want to talk about?" I could hear the sincerity in her voice. "Talk to me."

"Do you ever wish that you had imprinted? That you might find someone who's absolutely perfect for you?" The words spilled out of my mouth without thought.

Leah and I didn't talk about imprinting. Leah and I didn't talk about what had happened. In fact, up until this moment, Leah and I didn't talk.

She looked down at her fidgeting fingers. "Isn't that the question of the year?"

I moved closer into the room towards Leah. "I'm serious, Lee. Do you ever just wander how your life would be different without all of this shit?" I didn't know where this was coming from, but all of my feelings from the past 8 years came spilling out. All of the "what if's", all of the "maybe's" that haunted my mind whenever I thought of Leah.

She looked to the side to avoid my eyes. She sighed, "I'm not sure what this is about, Sam. But looking towards the past and singing your "shoulda, coulda, woulda's" never helped anyone. You go down that road and sadness and despair will cling to you like wet winter coat. It doesn't matter what you wanted to happen. What matters is if you can make peace with what you've got, and learn to love it." As she finished her sentence her eyes locked on my own.

Those eyes. They were filled with so many different emotions, but there were two that broke my heart. Within those soul-deep eyes when he looked real hard, all he could see was love and acceptance. Even now, she loved him. She accepted what happened. She accepted _him_ and she loved him.

She didn't have to say it, it was written all over her eyes. And that's all that needed to be said about my Leah. Wait no. She wasn't my Leah… it was just Leah.

Running my fingers through my hair, "What happened, Lee?"

She chuckled this self-deprecating laugh that held no happiness. "Life. Life happened. Unequivocally, I got the short end of the stick a couple of times, but, what ya gonna do?" She gave me a small little grimace and turned back to her dishes. "I'm a little bit busy right now. I'll see you later then, Sam"

The dismissal was clear. She was done with this conversation.

I had so much more to say though, so much more to ask. But I had no idea how to go about it. I decided that maybe we never spoke about these things for a reason. "Bye Leah." I turned towards the door with every intention to go.

I shook my head. I wasn't ready to go. There was still so much left to talk about, I turned towards her back "I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?" There was a subtle dash of anger in her voice. The dishes fell from her hands into the foamy depths of her sink.

I walked closer to her. "I'm sorry, Leah. It just struck me that I never did say sorry for what I did to you. So, I just wanted you to know that you didn't deserve the pain you've gone through and if I could go back and undo anythi—"

"Don't say it." She hadn't turned around to look at me. She was just looking out the window above her sink.

Her voice was soft but strong, she quietly spoke, "You don't need to say it. I know you— just please. I may look stronger but I'm not. And this… I can't do this… Just turn around, walk out that door, and go back to Emily. I'm fine, but I just can't hear this."

I grabbed her by her shoulders and turned her around, my fingers dug into the thin flesh of her upper arms, "Leah, you can't just close yourself up in this house away from the world and think that things will get better."

"Why can't I? They don't want me out there, so I'll just stay here. I don't need them and more to the point I don't want them." Her eyes were filled with tears, swelling and welling in her eyes, threatened to spill over.

Her pain was like a hot poker in my chest. My hand caressed the side of her face. "Who hurt you, Leah? Let me in. Let me help you."

She struggled within my arms. I let her go and she put distance between the two of us. "You ask that question, but I know you don't want the answer."

"But I do."

She shook her head, "You ask that question but you already _know_ the answer."

The tears escaped from her eyes and trickled down her face. "You want to know who _hurt_ me. You did. You and the pack. Back when everyone was patrolling, you thought I couldn't hear you. You thought I couldn't hear what you said about me. But I did. I heard every single thing. You didn't want me there. You thought I was a bitch, bitter, cruel, frigid, and heartless. You thought I was _ugly_ and revolting. You all made fun of me and I swear to this day none of you even care that I heard every single horrid, loathful thought."

I reached out for her but her trembling hands pushed mine away, "Leah –"

"Don't even bother okay. I know… maybe I am bitch… maybe I did deserve it. But even if it's true, nothing in this whole wide world can make me crawl back to you and beg for acceptance. Even a worm has more pride than that." Her fingers wiped away her tear. Hopelessly trying to wipe away the evidence of her pain.

I shook my head, "We never meant to…" Silence hung in the air as I clumsily tried to defend our actions.

Her face twisted in disgust and sadness, she spit "What? Hurt me? Now, you know that isn't true. You were supposed to be my pack. My brothers. Brothers are supposed to protect you. Love you. Make you stronger. So, don't you say you're sorry cause you don't know what you have to be sorry about, and you don't mean it."

I walked towards her as she walked away, "But I do. Leah, I love you like my very own sister. I want nothing but happiness for you. And I know what I said before was mean and spiteful, but I was young and stupid. Just let me back in. You can have all everything you ever wanted. Trust me, Leah. Maybe one day you might even imprint on some lucky son of a bitch."

A broken sob was wrenched from her body, "… Like a sister. You love me like a sister." She bit her fist and turned her face away until she regained her compusure, "That's not good enough. I can't survive on bits and pieces anymore."

I was confused, "What do you mean?"

"I think you should leave now."

Despite her attempts to avoid my eyes, to avoid me I stalked near towards her, "What did you mean you can't survive on bits and pieces anymore?"

"I want you to leave now."

"Leah, you have to talk to me. I came here to figure something out; I came here to talk to you and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"Get out of my house."


	2. Revelations

**I'm taking it to a really emotional place here. I hope that you get carried about by the pain cause i really tried to put my heart in it. I probably didn't edit as much as I should've but here it is! I really like reviews and I hope you stay tuned for more of the good stuff! :)**

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><p>SPOV<p>

"_**Leah, you have to talk to me. I came here to figure something out; I came here to talk to you and that's exactly what I'm going to do," I pleaded.**_

"_**Get out of my house."**_

I took a measured step closer to her, cornering her, "I can't do that."

Her frustration was rising as the first tear slipped delicately out of her eye and fell unnoticed onto her flushed bronze cheek, "Can't you, though? You've had no problem leaving me in the past. So, now that I want you to go, you won't? What kind of sense does that make?"

I lightly grasped her upper arms trying to get her to look at me, "Talk to me Leah."

She looked away as the tears started streaming down her face.

"Talk to me, Lee Lee."

She shook herself out of my grasp and put some distance between our bodies, "God, it never stops with you. You always have to go that extra mile to kick me in the chest. You asked me if I ever wish I had imprinted? No. The exact opposite. I wish I _hadn't_ imprinted."

Her words hung heavy and lifeless in the air. The truth in her words wrapped around my heart and made it impossible to deny. I couldn't process this. This… was… no. It can't be.

"Now, I can tell by that surprised look on your face that you didn't know. Cause I already imprinted, Sam. I already found my soulmate. In fact, I imprinted the very first day I turned."

This couldn't be happening. My feet stumbled backwards as I searched for support. I couldn't look at her. I couldn't look into her eyes.

You could see the crippling heartbreak written all over her face and drenching her tears. Leah look at me imploringly, "I didn't say anything to protect you, Sam. I never wanted you to find out."

In those moments, I undeniably knew the truth. I knew it, but I didn't want to acknowledge it. I didn't want the confirmation but knew that I needed it. I needed to know the truth.

The words spilled out of my trembling mouth like bile, "Wh-who?"

Our eyes met. I could see the truth lying deep within the chocolatey depths of her eyes. I could see the truth that never left. I could see love. She didn't even need to answer my question. "Sam, it was you. It's always been you, Sam…"

_Many Years Ago_

_LPOV_

_My fist gently knocked against the weathered wood of the front door. I knew that this was a last ditch effort but sometimes you need to crawl. Sometimes you need to beg to get better._

_The door opened to reveal Billy Black. His face crinkled into the familiar paternal smile that I had seen a thousand times before. Normally such a smile would make me smile return. But instead it just reminded me that I would never again see my father smile like that again. Because I would never see him again. So that beautiful fatherly smile just made me ache._

_He ushered me into his house to where we sat in his homey, little living room._

_My fingers twisted and turned into knots as Billy looked at me and waited for me to speak._

"_So, what brings you hear, my darling? I know that turning into a shapeshifter can be a shock for anyone, but you have your pack to talk to about those things, not me. The pack can answer question much better than I can," he explained as he quietly observed every detail of my countenance._

_I shook my head, "I know that. I just-" this was so embarrassing. "I just wanted to know if you could tell me more about… more about imprinting."_

_He shook his head slightly and reached out to still my hands, "I know that this must be a very hard time for you. But trust me, Leah, imprinting can't be undone. It's the will of the gods. Sam was meant for Emily and vice versa. I know it hard, honey, but you gonna have to live with that fact."_

_Tears spilled out over my cheeks as I pulled my hands away from his and clutched at my chest. "No, it's not what you think." My words were sloppy and filled with pain. "I know that everyone thinks that, but what if someone else came along and then… and then… the imprint broke. Would that mean that Sam was free to love whoever he wanted?"_

_He clutched at my knee, "The imprint won't break. Sam loves Emily. What you had with Sam is in the past now. I love you darling, but you need to move on. This isn't healthy."_

_Sobs tore through my chest, "But… but… that's not fair."_

"_I know it isn't, honey. I know." My body collapsed forward with the force of my tears as Billy moved closer to rub my back._

"_No, Billy, you don't understand," my words barely audible as my mouth was muffled against my lap._

"_Then explain it to me, Leah. Let me help you get over this, let me –"_

_The words tumbled out of my mouth like vomit, "I imprinted on Sam."_

_There were no words. There was nothing. I looked up at Billy to see his face and he just stared back at me, blankly and disbelievingly. I tried to explain, "I know it sounds impossible. Almost as impossible as a female shifter. But it happened. I've tried every explanation every possible scenario but it all leads to the same conclusion. I've seen all the Pack memories and I know what imprinting feels like. And… I don't know what to do."_

_He pulled me into my lap and comforted me. He held me like my father world. He held me and I would later discover that that was his only answer. There was nothing _to_ do. This was my fate and I was going to have to live with it. _

_After that day, we met with the Tribal Elders. They told me that I was an "anomaly", an "aberration". It was an established fact among the Elders that imprinting was a form of _culture preservation_. The shifters of the tribe would imprint on the person who could carry on the wolf gene. Imprinting was a means to the end that the pack would last on into the years protecting our tribe. And as I could no longer bare children, I was no longer apart of this equation._

_They decided my fate that day. They decided that it would be better if no one knew about my "mistaken" imprint. It would be better for Sam if I simply locked my feelings away._

_I couldn't though. I would always love him. And I would find a way to tell him. Eventually._

SPOV

I sat slumped over in my chair. I couldn't process what she was telling me. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I loved you,"

And I could now see that love clear as day. A love that I hadn't cared to see, but was there the entire time. I could tell that a sort of calm had passed over her as she finished telling me what happened.

"I tried to make it easier for you. I figured out what you needed from me and promised myself that I would be there. I would do it. For you. I would do anything."

I couldn't process what she was saying, "What do you mean?"

"Well, I knew that you felt so guilty about leaving me. I could hear your thoughts and knew that you just wanted to stop feeling so humiliated and sad when you saw me. So, I just decided to be the bad guy. I made everyone hate, I said… aweful things to everyone and then eventually everyone stopped blaming you for leaving me and started blaming me for being a bitch. And you were happy again."

"Leah. That doesn't make any sense."

She chuckled and set a cup of coffee in front of me, "Maybe not. But it made life easier for you. I made you happy. You know how it is with imprints. You can do nothing but make their life the best it can be."

I shook my head. "What about you, Leah? When I make my imprint happy, normally all I have to do is take out the trash or cuddle. How could you sacrifice your happiness for mine?"

She smiled this half-smile that I had always loved, "Wouldn't you do the same?"

Our eyes locked. I could see that burning love in her eyes. I had never felt worse about any mistake in my life than at my moment.

She looked down and fiddled with her cup, "I mean with Emily, not m–. Wouldn't you do the same for Emily, if that's what she needed?"

I couldn't look at her. Because I wasn't sure. If Emily demanded me to live in shadows, to give up everything for her, I'm not sure I could. I'm not sure I would want to.

"Leah, you should've told me. When it happened. You should've told me immediately."

Her face scrunched with disapproval, "Well, maybe I should've. But I was scared and I didn't really know what to do. My dad had just died and I was a fucking wolf. And there was just so much inside of me, raging for dominance. And all I wanted to do was to find you and have you hold me. If only for a second. Because each second I was away from you, pain radiated my body."

"What do you mean?"

Dazedly as if carried away by the memory of a long ago time, Leah looked out the window, "Well, you probably know how it is when your imprint is away. It hurts. But when you never have any physical contact with your imprint, things start to get a little difficult. The pain escalates, from a annoying burning sensation to a searing pain that becomes something… worse. After the first four months, it was like someone was shoving a thousand knives through every inch of my skin. I couldn't sleep, I almost couldn't breathe. The pain, the constant pain was like nothing I've ever felt before but… when I got even a tinier bit closer to you, the pain would go away. And when I had the opportunity to touch you, it was like the was a new definition for euphoria."

I was flabbergasted. Blown away. How had she done it? How had she survived? "H-how?"

"Well, Billy got me prescription with Dr. Cullen. Anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, sleeping aids, nourishment supplements. The works."

"Leah," the words were torn from my mouth. "You should've told me."

She shook her head and fixed me in a laser stare, "How could I? You were making a life with her."

I tried petulantly to defend myself, "I would've –"

"No," she said strongly, "You wouldn't."

For the first time in the conversation, she was angry.

Her words scorched my skin with her rage and indignation, "You gave her my home. The home we built together. We bought that house, we fixed it up. I painted the walls, you built the kitchen set and we filled it up with good time and memories. Don't you remember?"

She stalked closer to me and pushed my roughly with her fingers, "You proposed to me in that house. You said that no matter what, no matter where we were, as long as we were together, we would be home. You gave me your mother's ring and then we made love on the kitchen floor."

For the first time since I discovered I was a wolf, hot tears flowed over my cheeks, "Leah."

"You promised me the world. You said that we would get married, that we would have children. Then you turned around and you gave her _everything_ that you promised me. You gave her my home."

"Leah."

"Now, I need you to leave. Because I've spent 13 years loving you. And I never once blamed you for any of it. I felt sad, but I loved you and that was enough. But it isn't any more."

I couldn't let her slip through my fingers again, "Wait, let me – "

"No, I need to find a new home. A home that's just mine. A home that you can't take away from me. So, I need you to leave. Please, don't make this any harder for me."

So, I left. If that's what she me to do, I would do it. I would do anything for her.

TO BE CONTINUED!


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